Older boys went to school, and we headed to San Francisco. We spend our last day together with Vadym, and we had a great day. Most of the day, I couldn't' keep my tears to myself. When I was looking at Vadym, and feeling his little warm hand in my hand, and getting hugs from him, when I heard "mommy" from him, my heart was torn in little pieces.
I tried hard not to show it! I knew that saying goodbye was extremely hard for Vadym too, but he was holding really good(at least it looked like), he is very brave little boy.
When we said our goodbyes to Vadym, and headed to our car, I started crying. It's hard! I saw Vadym's faces, stiff and with no emotions! No expression on his face, stiff hands, and no reaction to people around him. Same expressions on his face was when we first saw him at our house. When Vadym came to our house he was not reacting to our voice, questions, or anything around him. For first 2-3 days with us, he only replied with 1-2 words. If he was in-trouble, he would go in the block mode, and not reply to our questions at all. I think he thought that he will get even more in-trouble. I think he does this every-time when he is nervous or feels uncomfortable, he just blocks/zoom-out himself from this world, and this is his protection. By the 3rd week with us it was gone, even when he would get in-trouble, and we asked him questions he would reply, and talked to us about what happened. It took a lot of time talking, and working with him, but I was so proud of him when he would reply and would smile at me:)
I tried not to think that I am sending this child back to the orphanage, back to nowhere, back to his previous life! I know, we never made any promises to Vadym, or to anyone, but it was hard because I couldn't' do nothing about this situation. The only thing I promised Vadym, that we will always love him, pray for him and will do everything to find him a family. This little boy needs mommy and daddy!
Rest Area stop:)
I am sorry Tatyana. I feel your pain in your writing. I will say a prayer for eveyone. Kelly
ReplyDeleteKelly, thank you! I did bonded with Vadym more than Sergey did. But even Sergey said that part of his heart will be always with Vadym. I know that we can't help everyone, but we can pray, so thank you for your prayers!
DeleteIt makes me feel so sad to read about this. It's amazing how brave these children are and it is interesting to read how they cope with their emotions. I will pray little Vadym will find a home very soon. I would love it if someone stepped forward. He's still young and I know that the younger they are, the faster they go especially if they have no siblings attached. Thanks for sharing your sweet heart with us.
ReplyDelete