Long time ago, I promised to share why we have 3 Daniel's in our family, and didn't' change their names during adoption of our new sons.
I know that everyone does have their own opinion, and I am just sharing, because many people are asking questions.
When we just started our 1st adoption journey in 2009 we also decided that we will not change child/ren names. We knew that our child will be older, and they will have life before coming into our home, they had mom, who gave them that name, they had history with out us, and their name was with them from the moment they were born. Child is coming to a new life, with many many changes, and to have their name change it would be way to much.
We were double questioning ourselves during our first adoption when we met our oldest son and found out that his name was Daniel (DJ) because at that time we already had a two year old Daniel (Denny), our bio son at home. We did try to talk to Daniel J to have his name change.
We asked Daniel (DJ), and ....
Daniel (DJ)(7 year old at that time) responded, " I know about God, and I know there was man name DANIEL, he listen to God, and was Gods Man. I want to be just like him when I grow up!" After his response we never went back to that conversation!
About a year ago we found Daniel J (DJ) grandmother, and she was very thankful, and happy that his name was the same.
In January 2012, we found out about two boys, brothers, Daniel A (DA) and Stanislav (SN). In May we finally went to adopt them, and question about name change were up in the air again. We tried to stick to our philosophy/believe, how hard would be for a child to have everything new, and new name but we asked Daniel A (DA), and he wasn't sure he wanted to change. He loved his name! He did try to pick different name for himself, but would go back to his name, and say that he really like his own. This is how we got our 3rd Daniel. I know that it was God's plan, and we happy to have our 3 Daniels :)
After our adoption was finalized, we had opportunity to meet boys, DA and SN, grandfather. One of the first questions he asked was: "I know that most parents during adoption change their new children names, What are the new names for boys?" When we told him that their name are the same, he had tears in his eyes. He said: " Thank you, thank you for not changing their names, their birth mom loved them a lot, and she is the one who did named them!"
By not changing boys names, we try to show respect and let them know that we do respect their past, we do appreciate their birth mom for having them, giving life, and naming them.
I know that all situations are different, and there is different circumstances. Maybe if we would adopt younger child, or our new child would hate their name, and desperately wanted to change, we would change their name.
We are happy that our kids are happy, and they all love their names. At one moment, when we just came home after adopting our Daniel A (DA) and Stanislav (SN), Stanislav (SN) was asking to change his name to Daniel :)
Blessings
Same here. My husband's name is AleX. We adopted AleX. And our bio son's name is AleK. Didn't want to change the child's name because he was already 7 years old and that's the name his bio mother chose for him. So we have now Alex, Alex and Alek.
ReplyDeleteWow, I never payed attention, and didn't know that your husbands name is Alex too. You probably have fun with names, when you making appointments :) I was worry about school, and how it would be confusing for staff to deal with 3 Daniel's. But our school staff is awesome, and they are doing great job.
DeleteMy girls all changed their own names. We allowed it, and now, years later, 2 of them regret the decision. There is no right or wrong answer, but it should definitely be the child's decision! You are such wonderful parents!
ReplyDeleteThank you Christie! Yes, its really up to a child, especially if they are older. I miss reading your blog, about girls, and your and their everyday life.:(
DeleteAs long as your children are happy then no one should say a thing! After all, George Foreman named all his sons George...:)
ReplyDeleteBoth our kids have chosen their names. Z didn't want to keep anything Ukrainian but we kept his first name as a middle name so if he got older he could change his mind. O wanted to change her name but the staff gave her such a hard time she stuck with O, then when came to the USA promptly asked to be called something else. 4 1/2 years later she still wants to be called by her middle name!
I love the story of Daniel! and I think the boys are smart to know about him too. Good choice!
Do they all go by Daniel at school and home or do they use the letters DJ, DA and Denny?
ReplyDeleteHi Cindy, that's a good question and we do get this question a lot. :) They use to go to public school, and everyone were calling them Daniel J(6th grader), Daniel A (5th grader) and Daniel D (K grader). At home they always been call Danilka, Danik and Denny :)
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