Most of our adoption related stuff I will post on Facebook page we created. Please like our page if you want to follow and support us during our adoption process. I will also post more family updates on Facebook. This is our 4th adoption, and this is our first time going public :) I will still post here on the blog, but little updates and most I will share on Facebook.
https://www.facebook.com/thereislifeafteradoption
God Bless you!
Wednesday, February 25, 2015
Saturday, February 21, 2015
Announcement!
We have something exciting to share with all of you!
Kids tried hard, and this is their first video. I am proud of them. They were nervous in the beginning , but by the end of this video they were more relaxed :) I asked them to write down what they want to say, and it all came from their hearts! Of course, for ending we all had to come up with something, and they were so natural! DD always makes everyone laugh :)
Enjoy!
Wednesday, February 18, 2015
5 years home-DJ
Our oldest son, DJ, been with us for 5 years already. I can't believe it's been this long. We landed in San Francisco airport 12/26/2009, and our life never been the same :)
To be honest with myself and everyone, I will just say that first 2,5 -3 years was not easy, and we had more bad days than good days. School days were not peaceful at all. We regularly were getting phone calls from school about DJ behavior, and he been regularly suspended from school.
We had meeting after meeting, and talk after talk with school staff, , psychologist, principal, behavior specialist and etc. We didn't know what to do, we didn't know how to help him.
I was six month pregnant at that time, we had two year old in the house , and DJ was seven almost eight year old newly adopted , all this didn't help our situation.
Our newly adopted child was smart, smiley, helpful, loving but also stubborn, independent, active, with huge impulse control issue. Sergey was working from 3pm till 11 pm at that time, and he was taking care of all school issues. My bond with DJ was instant, he was loving and great son, always around me trying to help. DJ didn't want to accept Sergey, and was having problems with his authority. He was not taking any orders(especially in school), and didn't accept ANY authority.
We tried many different ways of disciplining this child :) and he didn't care. Even if he cared, and it was important to him he was stubborn enough to take it all the way to the end and "prove" that he doesn't care. Consequences didn't work for the first 2-2,5 years. Usually if he gets in-trouble, and we tried to redirect, he would take it to all to the new level, all the way to the end. He couldn't stop if he is already was in the "mood".
He was athletic, rough, and even if he tickled someone, that someone would end-up in tears, our DJ was just way too rough. He would hit, punch and just get physical with anyone who would get in his way. I am thankful that he never been aggressive, and never hit anyone in our home.
I remember, one day, principal called my husband in his office, and told him that she been a principal for many many years, and saw many children. She said something like: "Your son needs some medicine, he will not be successful without medicine. He can't control his impulses and its needs to be control by medicine. He needs drugs to make him more calmer! "
Our response was:" No, thank you very much! " Drugging our son to become a zombie, was not an option. I respect people who decide to use drugs to control some behaviors in their children, but it was not an option for us and our son.
We knew that most of the issues our son had was lack of parenting, trauma, neglect and just living on the streets.
And then something happened...Our son started to response to consequences. If he did something, it was not someone else fault anymore :) He started to control his emotions and etc.
I just know that I am not the best mom out-there, and we made many mistakes as DJ's parents, but we are thankful to God that through out these years He been with us! We all survived :) I am not sure what had help the most, maybe because we were always on top of things, and consequences finally kicked in. We tried to be consistence with consequences, even if they didn't work at first.
Maybe because we did adopt two more boys at the time when DJ been with us 2,5 years. DJ felt like a big, responsible brother?! Anyway, what ever it is, it did help :)
After we hit 3 year mark, we got totally new child.
Anytime I would come to school, staff would greet me and brag about how good our DJ was, how responsible, and how mature :) We were so proud of our son, we still are, he is amazing, loving, helpful, gentle, active, and just handsome young man.
Don't get me wrong, there is many more things we still working on. The most I worry about his confidence, his education, and lack of motivation for anything.
I can't believe that DJ will be 13 in one week, and officially we will have teenager in the house!
He is our oldest, and he takes his role of an older brother very seriously! He still loves his mommy the most, and if he could, he would always be around me :) We are proud of him and love him to pieces!
First picture was taken in DJ's orphanage, and two recent pictures of our son.
Proud of you!
To be honest with myself and everyone, I will just say that first 2,5 -3 years was not easy, and we had more bad days than good days. School days were not peaceful at all. We regularly were getting phone calls from school about DJ behavior, and he been regularly suspended from school.
We had meeting after meeting, and talk after talk with school staff, , psychologist, principal, behavior specialist and etc. We didn't know what to do, we didn't know how to help him.
I was six month pregnant at that time, we had two year old in the house , and DJ was seven almost eight year old newly adopted , all this didn't help our situation.
Our newly adopted child was smart, smiley, helpful, loving but also stubborn, independent, active, with huge impulse control issue. Sergey was working from 3pm till 11 pm at that time, and he was taking care of all school issues. My bond with DJ was instant, he was loving and great son, always around me trying to help. DJ didn't want to accept Sergey, and was having problems with his authority. He was not taking any orders(especially in school), and didn't accept ANY authority.
We tried many different ways of disciplining this child :) and he didn't care. Even if he cared, and it was important to him he was stubborn enough to take it all the way to the end and "prove" that he doesn't care. Consequences didn't work for the first 2-2,5 years. Usually if he gets in-trouble, and we tried to redirect, he would take it to all to the new level, all the way to the end. He couldn't stop if he is already was in the "mood".
He was athletic, rough, and even if he tickled someone, that someone would end-up in tears, our DJ was just way too rough. He would hit, punch and just get physical with anyone who would get in his way. I am thankful that he never been aggressive, and never hit anyone in our home.
I remember, one day, principal called my husband in his office, and told him that she been a principal for many many years, and saw many children. She said something like: "Your son needs some medicine, he will not be successful without medicine. He can't control his impulses and its needs to be control by medicine. He needs drugs to make him more calmer! "
Our response was:" No, thank you very much! " Drugging our son to become a zombie, was not an option. I respect people who decide to use drugs to control some behaviors in their children, but it was not an option for us and our son.
We knew that most of the issues our son had was lack of parenting, trauma, neglect and just living on the streets.
And then something happened...Our son started to response to consequences. If he did something, it was not someone else fault anymore :) He started to control his emotions and etc.
I just know that I am not the best mom out-there, and we made many mistakes as DJ's parents, but we are thankful to God that through out these years He been with us! We all survived :) I am not sure what had help the most, maybe because we were always on top of things, and consequences finally kicked in. We tried to be consistence with consequences, even if they didn't work at first.
Maybe because we did adopt two more boys at the time when DJ been with us 2,5 years. DJ felt like a big, responsible brother?! Anyway, what ever it is, it did help :)
After we hit 3 year mark, we got totally new child.
Anytime I would come to school, staff would greet me and brag about how good our DJ was, how responsible, and how mature :) We were so proud of our son, we still are, he is amazing, loving, helpful, gentle, active, and just handsome young man.
Don't get me wrong, there is many more things we still working on. The most I worry about his confidence, his education, and lack of motivation for anything.
I can't believe that DJ will be 13 in one week, and officially we will have teenager in the house!
He is our oldest, and he takes his role of an older brother very seriously! He still loves his mommy the most, and if he could, he would always be around me :) We are proud of him and love him to pieces!
First picture was taken in DJ's orphanage, and two recent pictures of our son.
Proud of you!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)