Respite care, attachment and issues

With respite care of EE and DD  we are learning many new things, and facing more issues in our every day life. Attachment is one of the things we are working on now.

It's so hard to try to help them while we don't  know if boys even will stay with us, and for how long we will be taking care of them.

At first we thought that biggest attachment problems we will have with EE , older boy, but from what I can see, DD will need a lot more work in this area. They have no social skills and we are slowly working on their social skills, especially it's hard at school. EE's is more behind, and get in-trouble in school a lot.

Little bit on background on both boys and what we been working on for last 6 weeks and a progress:

Never been in a family, both boys had no idea what is like to have a family, or be a part of family. Have no idea about sharing, controlling their emotions if something is not their way. Both boys doing much better at sharing and slowly are getting an idea what family life is, and how to be a part of the family.

DD would call all male guys out-there "daddy". Anyone who set a foot in our house and after 5 minutes EE and DD are happy to go with them. Even in school if someone(janitor, tutor, teacher from another classroom)  walks in the classroom and said hi to everyone, especially EE would start crying when they leave classroom. Two weeks ago my aunt and uncle came to visit, and EE had hard time when they left.
Today they are getting and idea that every child has their own mommy and daddy, and all those guys and ladies out-there not their parents. Last weekend my parent s came to visit, and they didn't  really interact with boys, but when they were about to leave DD started to throw a tantrum wanting to go with them. EE for the first time said that he does want  to leave and wants to stay in our family, and they are not his parents and he is not going with them. He even tried to tell DD "dont' cry". 

 They had no idea what hug is. DD didnt' like when we try to hold him, or hug. When me or Sergey does pick him up he would just push away with both hands. Older boy EE is a little better at hugging, and when we hold him.
Now both boys like to come for a hug, especially when other kids do it. We can hold DD for a few minutes at the time, and he is doing much better. 


Older boy, EE couldn't  play with games, toys, or keep himself busy for more than 5 minutes, and he was not interested in anything just to go around and grab, touch, or take anything that it not his. He was fascinated with keys, remote controls, any electronics, and had no idea that things are not his, or why he can't not touch and push all those buttons. All my perfume bottles, shampoo and other things did felt his little hands in last 4 weeks :)  We are amazed at how much progress he made in this area. EE is very interested in LEGOs and can play for 30-40 minutes at the time. He can sit still for 10-15 minutes watching cartoons. He just loves puzzles and usually does 2-3 puzzles at the time, keeps him busy for about an hour. He loves to do homework and loves school, and I will share more details about school later. 

Little DD afraid of any kind of water (rain, shower), and just couldn't handle it when there is food, things on his hands. He doesn't like to play outside on the swings, with ball, or just run around with kids. He usually prefer to stay in the house by himself and play with toys. He does like to go and ride a scooter and try to learn to ride a bike. He is getting better at the table, and learning to go outside more and have fun. 

Both boys were afraid of any kind of animals, bugs, spiders. They would not even come close to our bunnies. They love bunnies, they do like to play with them and they are learning to gently touch them. They are no longer running and screaming in terror when they see a fly or spider. 

EE is coming and saying "I love you's". This words are nice and sweet to hear especially from him. This is a boy who had a lot of anger in him, and the only things we would hear from him when we talk to him or ask him to do anything would be a screaming "NO", "DON'T TOUCH", "EE WILL BE BIG , AND YOU SMALL ", if someone would get near his things he would scream "IT'S MINE"  and other not nice things. He did pack his bags many times to leave after we try to correct him, he scream that he doesn't  love us, we are not his parents, and that he will go to a different nicer house tomorrow. We had this behavior for a few weeks, and every day he would talk how him and his brother will go to another house.  Today we see a loving happy child, who is eager to learn and try hard to make us happy. He is still has a very long road of healing ahead  of him but just now I am trying to finish this blog, and he was on the floor playing with cars he said very loud, "EE NOT LEAVING, NO DIFFERENT HOME, NO DIFFERENT MOMMY AND DADDY, EE IS NOT LEAVING WITH ANYONE"

Please keep praying for boys! I shared a little about boys, but there is a lot more going on , and there is many more issues we are working on with them, and trying to help them.